THE ART OF FORGIVENESS

[NOVEMBER 10, 2016]

I don't know about you, but from time to time people can get really... frustrating. Especially around the holidays. Like birthdays for example. A.k.a. mine, which just happened three days ago. A lot of times we have certain expectations of how we want people around us to act towards us or towards each other or just in general. And when they don't fulfill these expectations, we experience what you might call disappointment. And being disappointed sucks. It's just a letdown in general. So what are some things that we can do to remedy this, and free ourselves from the hurt and the pain and the anguish?  We have to practice the art of forgiveness. And forgiveness isn't necessarily taught, so I will share with you some tips on how I learned to forgive.

Most animals, with the exception of humans, learn how to release the trauma of emotional suffering. Take ducks for example. When two ducks fight, it never lasts long. They quickly separate, and flap their wings vigorously, releasing the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After this release, they continue on peacefully as though nothing had ever happened. They have mastered the art of letting go. We, humans, are not so good at this. We tend to store emotions in our physical bodies which later manifest into pains, aches, and eventually disease. We keep the fight alive in our minds long after the moment has passed. Most of us live with these resentments for months or even years, so here is my best tip on practicing forgiveness and letting that shit gooooo.

Start by create a running list of people who you need to (not want to, because we generally don't want to forgive when we feel we've been wronged, am I right?)  forgive. Parents, siblings, the mailman, neighbors, the person at the grocery store who shot you a sideways glance.

So repeat after me: 

I forgive you (insert whoever's name you need to forgive) for not being the person I wanted you to be. I forgive you and I set you free. And in forgiving you, I set myself free.

I thank Louise Hay for lending me that one. I practice this as I walk my dog, even though I may seem like a crazy person talking to myself, I consciously forgive whoever needs to be forgiven according to me, to release the emotional charge of all the people who I have unconsciously held expectations for. My best friend, my mom, my roommate, the list really goes on. We tend to believe that we know how people should best act based on what we want from them. We have to let this idea go. Otherwise we're just setting ourselves up for failure. & I would rather set myself up for success. So do it with me, and make the conscious effort to release some of those grudges stored in your physical body so that you can  set yourself free, and live a lighter life filled with more joy more ease and a lot less resistance. Phew!

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